On Finding Family

It's been an ongoing journey to find family that I once never knew existed but somehow deep down knew that I had to search. I have been searching for my sister Lisa forever or so it seems. I met her once when I was 13, along with our mother. We went to lunch and to a movie and then they were both gone, poof, like they never existed.

Years have passed by and I have learned about other siblings that exist but still I search for Lisa. Lisa holds information about a mother I never knew. I watch all of the reunion shows thinking that one day, there she will be. I search the internet and always wonder if the person named Lisa who I have met or come across in my searches is Lisa.

Along the way I reconnected with a childhood friend and we started talking about my family. He asked a few questions and then emailed me with a message to call him; he had some information that may be helpful. So I called and we talked. He had spoken with some of my family members and was given the address and phone number of my mother's brother. Now what do I do?

I held onto the piece of paper and attempted to call a few times but then wondered if I should. Here was an important lead but what if they did not want anything to do with me? Do I take a chance with rejection again? I decided to write a letter and give them my phone number and address. That way they could call or write if they chose to or just ignore it and I would find myself at another deadend.

Weeks went by and I didn't hear anything. Then one afternoon I find a message on my voicemail saying, "This is your cousin Ruth, call me and we can talk about Lisa." I take a deep breath and wonder if I should call. What will I find out? Do I want to know?

After a few minutes I called the number Ruth had left and she answers. I say , "Hello, Ruth, this is your cousin Kaitlyn." We talk like we had known each other forever. We trade family stories and find we have lots in common. My uncle had died the year before and she hadn't seen or heard about Lisa for a long while. And they had never known that I even exisited.

I was disappointed and excited all at the same time. I am disappointed that she has no information about Lisa. But, I have a new cousin! Then she tells me she has a brother and sister. I have three new cousins!

Since that day I have talked to all of them and they have been open and welcoming. It is more than I could ever wished for. No, I have not found my sister but I found some more pieces to the puzzle.

One may wonder why it matters. I can only explain it this way. You feel in your soul that something is missing. You may have heard about the hole in your soul; well, Trish, Ruth and John have helped to fill that hole. Yes, I would still like to find Lisa but if I don't I have come to a place called contentment. I will be content and grateful for what I have found.

I knew my mother has been dead for a long time. I found that out when I was about 18. Ruth and I hung up on that day and she shortly called back and said, "Oh, I forgot to tell you, I named my daughter Colleen." That was my mothers name.